Unmasking Leadership: Breaking the Chains of Academic Conditioning for Emotional Mastery

As an individual steeped in leadership development, I’ve often pondered the hidden forces that shape our leaders. Recently, my attention has been drawn to an intriguing phenomenon I’ve coined as “academic conditioning.” This form of conditioning, seemingly born from our educational systems, commends individuals for always knowing the correct answers, subtly breeding a culture of embarrassment around not knowing. Such a culture inadvertently fosters a fear of vulnerability, courage, shame, and guilt.

For those unfamiliar with academic conditioning, it’s crucial to understand how deep its roots can run in individuals’ minds, especially leaders. Constantly striving to have all the answers, these individuals can feel immense pressure to embody perfection. A leader conditioned this way struggles with vulnerability and the courage to show it, hindering their capacity to empathize with others’ struggles. This phenomenon bears striking implications for their emotional intelligence (EI) — a vital asset for any effective leader.

Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher and storyteller, has extensively studied vulnerability, courage, shame, and guilt. According to her findings, vulnerability isn’t a weakness but a measure of courage. It’s about showing up and being seen when we have no control over the outcome. It’s about daring greatly. Brown states, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome” (Brown, 2012).

While this may sound straightforward, it’s often a massive hurdle for those trapped by academic conditioning. In the relentless pursuit of being right, leaders tend to hide their vulnerabilities, masking their authentic selves. Their fear of experiencing shame and guilt — of being seen as ‘less than’ — overshadows their willingness to be vulnerable and embrace courage.

Emotional intelligence, at its core, is about understanding and managing our emotions and empathizing with the feelings of others. It’s about effectively navigating social complexities and making wise decisions. The intertwining of emotional intelligence and leadership is critical. Yet, the stronghold of academic conditioning may lead leaders into a trap where they struggle to develop or utilize their EI effectively.

When comparing males and females in leadership roles, there seems to be an interesting dynamic at play. While it’s critical not to generalize — all people are unique, after all — it’s commonly observed that women tend to be more emotionally intelligent. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re better leaders, but it can mean they are more adaptable to using emotional intelligence, perhaps due to societal norms that encourage emotional expression and empathy among women more than men.

Men, on the other hand, often face the stereotype of needing to maintain a strong exterior, masking their emotions. Such expectations can hinder the manifestation of emotional intelligence, especially under the constraints of academic conditioning.

As we delve further into this century, it’s increasingly apparent that vulnerability, courage, and emotional intelligence are not just buzzwords, but necessities for effective leadership. We need leaders who can embrace not knowing, who can empathize with others, and navigate emotional landscapes efficiently. We must rethink how we educate and encourage our future leaders, moving away from academic conditioning that inhibits emotional intelligence.

Dr. Brown’s words encapsulate this sentiment perfectly, “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” Leaders, it’s time to be seen — in our victories, in our losses, in our knowledge, and in our lack thereof. Only then can we fully harness the power of emotional intelligence, tearing down the walls of academic conditioning, and truly connect with those we lead.

Kyle Jones
Chief Operating Officer
www.essgroupinc.net

References:

1. Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Avery.